The Jordan Harbinger Show

65: Feedback Friday | How to Get out of an Abusive Relationship

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) are back to banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday on The Jordan Harbinger Show!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • How do you continue to have a relationship with a family member in which you can focus more on positive things you have in common rather than what he or she is stressed or anxious about?
  • Feedback Friday 18 is episode number 26, and here's a listener's follow-up to a discussion we had there.
  • How do you reframe a job -- that's got amazing perks but doesn't challenge you -- and change your mindset so you don't get stuck in a rut?
  • Addiction to anything is a struggle -- even if it's "just" video games and pot. But how can you kick your addictions when you're burned out on real life and don't really know how to relate to other people?
  • Should you go for your dream job even if it forces you to move thousands of miles away from your significant other?
  • Qualified relationship expert Duana Welch tags in to dispense good advice to someone looking to get out of a red flag, jealousy-driven, abusive relationship.
  • If thinking about using social media gives you anxiety and you experienced a sense of great relief when you deactivated your Facebook account, do you even need social media to make friends in the 21st century?
  • When making conversation, you tend to ramble and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. How can you cut back on the awkwardness?
  • Shoutouts to Athena and Marilyn Koutsonikolas and American Dream University!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.
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Full show notes and resources can be found here.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
00:43:18 7/6/2018

Past Episodes

David Buss (@ProfDavidBuss) is considered the world's leading scientific expert on the evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies. He is the author of several books on the subject, most recently The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.

What We Discuss with David Buss:

  • How dating apps work and what they're doing to our brains.
  • Mate-switching strategies: why affairs happen and the mechanisms at play.
  • How we can track our own mate value to keep our relationships strong and secure.
  • Why mating strategies tend to be universal even if their cultural variations seem to suggest otherwise.
  • Why a vacation with your partner is a good stress-test for seeing what might be in store for your future together.
  • And much more...

Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them ? support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies at meundies.com/jordan for 15% off and free shipping!

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Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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00:57:26 11/20/2018

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • Is partaking of a small amount of marijuana in the evening akin to relaxing with a glass of wine at the end of the day, or are you just lying to yourself in order to justify an unhealthy addiction? Also: is it worth the risk if it's not legal in your area?
  • How do you become essential to a fast-growing company that has so much to offer your career among a peer group with a competitive but respectful corporate spirit?
  • How do you navigate the chain of command without stepping on toes when you know your boss' boss is more competent than your boss and prefer to work with her when something needs to be done?
  • You're naturally shy and don't have much contact with your old friends these days. How do you work up the courage to go out and meet people who have the potential to be your new friends?
  • You've graduated from high school and now you're in a gap year before you go to college. You've been offered a management position at your current job, but it would further delay your college plans. Should you take the opportunity for promotion, or stick with your plan to start school next year?
  • Are you crazy for wanting to transition away from a well-paying job with great benefits toward a sustainable digital nomad lifestyle -- especially when you and your wife are planning to raise a family?
  • Is the idea of going back to college your solution for being unable to cope with the stress of your challenging job, or are you just not adjusting to being the low person on the totem pole?
  • Tank's Good News: Watch Olympic Sprinter Run onto Busy Highway so He Can save Tortoise from Traffic
  • Quick shoutouts to Nicola and American Dream University!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:46:45 11/16/2018

Freeway Rick Ross (@FreewayRicky) managed a billion-dollar drug empire in the age of Iran-Contra, now helps rebuild at-risk communities, and is featured in the Emmy-nominated documentary Freeway: Crack in the System.

What We Discuss with Freeway Rick Ross:

  • How Rick went from a tennis scholarship track in high school to a young adulthood making cocaine appealing and affordable for a growing urban clientele.
  • The escalation of Rick's business model thanks to an immensely helpful Nicaraguan connection during the Reagan administration.
  • Why Rick wished he had more hours a day in prison -- a place where most people are just looking to kill time.
  • The story behind the ex-prison guard rapper who uses Rick's name and why he's legally allowed to do so.
  • How Rick overcame illiteracy later in life and the must-read books he recommends for anyone with (legal) entrepreneurial ambitions.
  • And much more...

Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

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Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:17:27 11/15/2018

Molly Bloom (@immollybloom) is an entrepreneur, speaker, and author of Molly's Game: The True Story of the 26-Year-Old Woman Behind the Most Exclusive, High-Stakes Underground Poker Game in the World.

What We Discuss with Molly Bloom:

  • What Molly Bloom learned by running underground poker games for some of the world's wealthiest and well-known.
  • The psychology Molly used to control the games -- and their players.
  • The secrets of generating rapport and trust among those who aren't in the habit of trusting anyone.
  • The strategies Molly utilized to become indispensable to her players.
  • How Molly got involved in the world of poker in spite of unlikely beginnings, and what happened to make her quit it for good.
  • And much more...

Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- including Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence. Listeners to this podcast can check out a free trial at thegreatcoursesplus.com/jordan!

Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. To get started, go to RocketMortgage.com/JORDAN!

Hover knows that every great idea deserves a great website domain name, so it provides you with this clean and simple service with human support and no upsells! Go to hover.com/jordan to get 10 percent off your first purchase!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:05:03 11/13/2018

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • Did you know we have a YouTube channel? We do, and you can find it here!
  • How do you deal with family members who threw you under the bus for inheritance money and now try to act nice to you like this never happened?
  • What's wrong with asking for advice while simultaneously offering something in return?
  • If you don't like the current trajectory of a conversation, how do you change the subject smoothly?
  • As a recent transplant to your neighborhood, how do you introduce yourself to the new neighbors without being intrusive?
  • How much do you share with your audience when the boundaries for sharing are blurry?
  • When the shadow of your past might have an impact on your future once revealed by old contacts mixing with your new, should you just avoid social media altogether?
  • When change is in the air -- like returning to school after a long hiatus -- how do you embrace the good feelings you have about the change without being heavily distracted by the bad?
  • Is throwing a corgi quinceanera culturally insensitive?
  • Tank's Good News: How One Man Convinced 200 Ku Klux Klan Members To Give Up Their Robes
  • Recommendation of the Week: Derren Brown: Sacrifice
  • Quick shoutouts to Diego Urbina and Hayley Hofstetter!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

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Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:49:03 11/9/2018

Nadya Tolokonnikova (@tolokno) is one of feminist art punk collective Pussy Riot's most visible members, and she's the author of Read & Riot: A Pussy Riot Guide to Activism.

What We Discuss with Nadya Tolokonnikova:

  • The roots of Nadya's distrust of authority -- and why she became a headstrong activist against it at an age when many Americans are only beginning to discover themselves.
  • What Pussy Riot's protest art aims to accomplish by openly defying such authority.
  • What life in a Russian prison labor camp is really like and how Nadya and her bandmates survived their sentence for "hooliganism" there.
  • How today's young people are making contributions to their communities in ways undreamt of just a generation ago (and often pulling bigger paychecks than their parents).
  • The potential perils of shoplifting to survive for eight years and creating DIY music in a corrupt police state without a stunt double.
  • And much more...

Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus — including Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence. Listeners to this podcast can check out a free trial at thegreatcoursesplus.com/jordan!

Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home at half the size and double the range — go to SimpliSafe.com/jordan to learn more!

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Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:11:30 11/8/2018

Robert Greene (@RobertGreene) is the author of five New York Times Best Sellers. His highly anticipated sixth book, The Laws of Human Nature, is out now.

What We Discuss with Robert Greene:

  • Why you can't monumentally improve your life by modifying your behavior if you don't understand what causes such behavior.
  • Why it's liberating to understand that the reason other people react to you in whatever way they do has more to do with them and their own baggage than you and yours.
  • How oversimplifying the impression you have of someone robs you of the ability to relate to them beyond a surface level -- and what you can do to change the game.
  • Why your lower nature seems to be the default you'll fall into without effort and what it takes to tap into the potential of your higher nature.
  • The difference between active and passive envy, where envy comes from, why it's so often destructive, and how you can flip envy to your benefit.
  • And much more...

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Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:32:52 11/6/2018

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • The idea of having children with your partner out of wedlock might not matter to society as much as it used to, but it might matter more to your partner than is apparent.
  • You don't always need to see your doctor waving a huge red flag in order to seek a second opinion, but here's a great example of one if you're wondering what such a red flag might look like.
  • Even though the relationship you've had with your high school sweetheart for nearly 10 years is strong, you can't help but wonder if your partner's desire to explore and experience other people would break you up for good or bring you closer in the long run.
  • During childhood, your spouse was sexually abused by a family member. Not everyone in the family knows this, and now that family member will be present at future holidays and gatherings. If your spouse doesn't want to speak up, what can you do?
  • Getting from the beginning to the end of a personal anecdote can be a struggle when you don't feel like you've mastered the art of storytelling. How do you get better at honing your storytelling chops?
  • You know it's a bad idea to pursue a romance or relationship with someone at the office (especially when you're the boss), but you can't deny there's an attraction between you and someone there. So how do you cool things off before this becomes a real problem?
  • If you're a new teacher -- or someone who frequently needs to speak in front of people -- how do you address the overwhelming feedback that your voice is too quiet?
  • How can you convey remorse about an on-the-job transgression for which you need to atone on a professional level?
  • Tank's Good News: Hands-Only CPR's 'Keep The Beat' 100 BPM Playlist by American Heart Association on Spotify
  • Recommendation of the Week: Quincy
  • Quick shoutout to Taylor Fischer in Las Vegas!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:48:58 11/2/2018

Michael Scott Moore (@MichaelSctMoore) is a literary journalist and novelist who wrote about being held hostage by Somali pirates in his latest book, The Desert and the Sea: 977 Days Captive on the Somali Pirate Coast.

What We Discuss with Michael Scott Moore:

  • Why high-seas piracy still exists in some of the world's most desperate places.
  • How an outsider -- such as a journalist like Michael Scott Moore -- can be easy prey for pirates abroad even under the "protection" of hired security.
  • The types of people who become pirates and how the devoutly religious among them reconcile their actions with their faith.
  • Why you'll probably never find a restaurant specializing in Somali pirate cuisine.
  • How a hostage remains sane over 977 days in captivity through escape attempts and threat of torture.
  • And much more...

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

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Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics — our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:15:39 11/1/2018

Michael McFaul (@McFaul) is a former US ambassador to Russia, a professor of political science at Stanford University, and author of New York Times Best Seller From Cold War to Hot Peace: An American Ambassador in Putin's Russia.

What We Discuss with Michael McFaul:

  • What the role of an ambassador in the 21st century entails, how it differs from being a diplomat, and how it changes between administrations.
  • Ambassador McFaul's creative approach to problem-solving when confronted with relentless obstruction by Putin, and how he developed relationships and recruited allies in this hostile environment.
  • How ambassadors, government officials, and spies conduct their business and keep secrets overseas.
  • The exhaustive preparations and precautions that precede a meeting between two world leaders.
  • How to get inside the mind of another culture when doing business cross-culturally so you can be effective when you need to be.
  • And much more...

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Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them — support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies at meundies.com/jordan for 15% off and free shipping!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:23:49 10/30/2018

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