The Jordan Harbinger Show

73: Alex Kouts | The Secrets You Don't Know About Negotiation Part Two

Alex Kouts (@akouts) is a teacher, adventure technologist, Chief Product Officer of Countable, and -- as you'll soon discover -- quite savvy in negotiation. This is part two of a multi-part series. Check out part one here!

What We Discuss with Alex Kouts:

  • How to control a negotiation by making the other side reactive.
  • Common mistakes that result in amateurs (and sometimes even professionals) negotiating against themselves.
  • Understand how to use strategic silence -- and know when strategic silence is being used against you.
  • How negotiations tend to differ for women and men.
  • What we gain by giving the other party the illusion of control over the negotiation and what we can do to nudge them in that direction.
  • And much more...
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Full show notes and resources can be found here.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
01:23:07 7/26/2018

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Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

Friend of the show and Entrepreneur on Fire John Lee Dumas (@johnleedumas) joins us to tackle one of our trickier questions about starting a side hustle!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • Are once-friendly people really avoiding you for some unknown reason, or is their perceived lack of interaction largely in your own socially anxious head?
  • When you're young and in long-distance love but also looking for a new career path, should you follow your heart and move closer to your sweetheart or follow your head and pursue local educational opportunities in your chosen field?
  • What's the most graceful way to turn down a retention bonus without sending a signal to the company you are looking for another job?
  • You're newly single and going to yoga classes. You want to ask out someone who seems to be expressing interest in you, but you also want to respect the yoga space and not tarnish your ongoing practice at this studio. What's the right next move?
  • You've recently been made privy to sensitive information about your clients from a well-meaning but careless business contact. How do you make this contact understand -- without being ungrateful for their effort -- that such information in the hands of someone less ethical could jeopardize their career and the integrity of your organization?
  • Your boss treats you as a liability rather than an asset thanks to fabricated and unsubstantiated accusations made against you in the past, but rumor has it this person is leaving in a few months. Is it worth your time to get this person to see your value, or should you just stay under the radar until the (fingers crossed) new boss arrives on the scene?
  • Your morale is low at your current company, and in spite of skill stacking to position yourself uniquely in any number of other companies, you can't seem to land an interview elsewhere. Is it time to scratch that entrepreneurial itch you've been feeling with at least an honest foray into the side hustle?
  • What can you do to mend the divide between you and someone with whom you shared a relationship when you empathize with why that person isn't exactly the president of your fan club?
  • Recommendation of the Week: The Final Table
  • Quick shoutout to Dr. Brad Block of the Physician's Guide to Doctoring podcast!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Sport Clips is like no other place you've ever gotten your hair cut. There are TVs everywhere playing sports and guy-smart stylists who know how to give you the haircut you want in over 1,700 locations! Find out what you've been missing at SportClips.com/checkin!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

Gusto is simply the best payroll for your small business, automatically calculating, depositing, and filing payroll taxes. Sign up at gusto.com/jordan for your free three-month trial!

The folks at BiOptimizers understand why you're skeptical about probiotics as a way to increase your digestive and gut health. But without sharing TMI, we can confirm its patented P3-OM superstrain actually does what it's supposed to do! Curious? Go to p3om.com/jordan for 20 percent off your first order and a full money-back guarantee!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

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00:50:18 12/7/2018

Srini Rao (@unmistakableceo) is the host and founder of the Unmistakable Creative podcast and author of An Audience of One: Reclaiming Creativity for Its Own Sake.

What We Discuss with Srini Rao:

  • How an ADHD diagnosis in his mid-twenties and the inability to hold down a real job forced Srini to develop his own tools and systems for harnessing creativity and boosting production.
  • Why expressing your creativity on a regular basis -- even when it's done without the intention of reaching an audience or being commercially successful -- can be incredibly beneficial to every area of your life.
  • Research shows that being creative can actually make you happier, help you recover from trauma, and increase your productivity.
  • How you can cultivate your own creativity even if you're the type of person who thinks you don't have any to begin with.
  • Why you don't have to be a creative genius or successful artist to take advantage of the creativity-happiness connection.
  • And much more...

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Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

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Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:07:23 12/6/2018

Chris "Drama" Pfaff (@dramadrama) is a former reality TV personality, host of the Short Story Long Podcast, and founder of streetwear clothing line Young and Reckless.

What We Discuss with Chris Pfaff:

  • Why Chris decided to take his skateboard from suburban Akron -- where escaped cows made the evening news -- to Los Angeles, where high-speed car chases barely raise eyebrows.
  • What it's taken so far for Chris to make it in today's cutthroat fashion business climate -- especially when he has to work twice as hard to overcome what others expect from his "dumb" reality TV persona.
  • How to stay tenacious -- like someone raised in the Midwest -- when you fail over and over again.
  • Why sometimes running a business -- even something as fun and exciting as a top-level streetwear brand -- can be more of a curse than a blessing.
  • How Chris feels about regretting something he has done versus regretting something he hasn't done.
  • And much more...

Sport Clips is like no other place you've ever gotten your hair cut. There are TVs everywhere playing sports and guy-smart stylists who know how to give you the haircut you want in over 1,700 locations! Find out what you've been missing at SportClips.com/checkin!

Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- including Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence. Listeners to this podcast can check out a free trial at thegreatcoursesplus.com/jordan!

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Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:59:46 12/4/2018

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • When is a cheater no longer a cheater, and when is an addict no longer an addict?
  • If you're going for quality connections over quantity, is meeting four people in two hours at a networking event reasonable?
  • How do you set boundaries when a family member on hard times has overstayed their welcome in your home?
  • Who'd have thought the parents at your kid's new school are more cliquish than their offspring? What can you do to win them over -- or should you?
  • Because you didn't just wait until you were thirsty to dig the well -- you ate a spoonful of salt, too -- how can you recover from job instability when it already seems too late?
  • If you're employed in a full time but unfulfilling job purely for the cash, when is it time to take your side hustle more seriously?
  • Being the trustee of a family trust is hard enough without someone in your own family negotiating like a jerk for more than their fair share. So what would make the situation easier?
  • Recommendation of the Week: The Resurrection of Jake the Snake Roberts
  • Quick shoutout to the guys who got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere and listened to the show for three straight hours while waiting for the tow truck and discussed all of the topics!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Sport Clips is like no other place you've ever gotten your hair cut. There are TVs everywhere playing sports and guy-smart stylists who know how to give you the haircut you want in over 1,700 locations! Find out what you've been missing at SportClips.com/checkin!

Molekule's revolutionary nanotechnology destroys pollutants at the molecular level -- unlike your grandfather's gunky old air purifier. For $75 off your first order, visit molekule.com and enter code JHS at checkout!

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Like to travel? Check out Zane's World! Each episode focuses on a different city/country as Zane and his co-hosts break down the best attractions, food and beverage stops, and interesting locations in each destination. Find Zane's World on PodcastOne here!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:50:43 11/30/2018

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) joins us for this deep dive into identifying and overcoming imposter syndrome -- the sinking feeling that your accolades are unearned, your successes are undeserved, and you'll be discovered for the fraud you (think you) are at any moment by somebody -- anybody -- more qualified than you (which only seems to be everybody)! [Photo by Steve Lundqvist]

What We Discuss with Gabriel Mizrahi:

  • Why you're not alone in feeling pangs of imposter syndrome (or imposter experience or imposter phenomenon, depending on who you ask) -- it strikes nearly everyone (even elite athletes and military special forces) from time to time.
  • How to tell the difference between true fraudulence and imposter syndrome -- and act accordingly.
  • The three behaviors that should help you avoid feeling imposter syndrome but counterintuitively tend to reinforce it.
  • The two common beliefs that invite imposter syndrome to visit most frequently.
  • What you can learn from incidents of imposter syndrome to grow more resistant to its eerily convincing distortions of reality.
  • And much more...

Hunt a Killer is a puzzle-style game that poses this tantalizing question: what if a serial killer delivered a package to your doorstep each month? Go to huntakiller.com/jordan for 10 percent off your first box and find out!

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Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:07:12 11/29/2018

Dr. Matthew Walker (@sleepdiplomat) is Professor of Neuroscience and Psychology at the University of California in Berkeley, founder and director of the Center for Human Sleep Science, and author of Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams.

"The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life." -Dr. Matthew Walker

What We Discuss with Matthew Walker:

  • Why you're not lazy if you don't happen to be a morning person (it's genetic).
  • What it means when you always seem to wake up right before your alarm.
  • What's going on in your dreams (lucid or otherwise) and what can you learn from them?
  • How to train yourself to go to sleep at the time that's ideal for you.
  • Mistakes you're making that keep you from getting optimal results at bedtime.
  • And much more...

Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them — support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies at meundies.com/jordan for 15% off and free shipping!

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Outerknown was founded by pro surfer Kelly Slater for people who want great clothes produced by workers who are paid a living wage in an environmentally conscious way. Go to outerknown.com today and enter code JORDAN at checkout for 25% off your full price order!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

01:20:53 11/27/2018

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • Your brother in law is a narcissist with a bad case of PLOM (Poor Little Old Me) Disease and is clearly in the mindset to cheat on your sister -- if he hasn't already. Is it your place to warn her even though it'll devastate the family?
  • Is it your fault that you -- and the rest of your coworkers -- are always disappointing your boss because you never seem to be able to read her mind and discern her intentions?
  • Using the networking skills we teach in Advanced Human Dynamics Level One, how do you actively develop new contacts?
  • When your current job was able to accommodate your needs in order to retain you, you had to renege on another job offer you had already accepted. How do you reach out to make peace and mend a bridge you never intended to burn?
  • When you have an estranged parent who has only lied to you and disappointed you over the course of your entire life, how should you take their disclosure of a personal tragedy?
  • After graduation, you'll have three months until you start your full-time job. Should you use the money you've saved up through college to travel for those three months, or should you use it to pay your student loans?
  • You work in an office full of people who share political views that widely differ from your own. Should you put up with it quietly, offer your counterpoints, just pretend to agree with them to avoid friction, or look for a new job entirely?
  • When you live in a country overrun by state-driven propaganda, what's the best way to stay informed of real current events so you can critically weigh the evidence and formulate your own views?
  • Recommendation of the Week: Three Identical Strangers
  • Quick shoutout to everyone who joined us at our live event in Las Vegas for Advanced Human Dynamics!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Gusto is simply the best payroll for your small business, automatically calculating, depositing, and filing payroll taxes. Sign up at gusto.com/jordan for your free three-month trial!

Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:42:27 11/23/2018

Kristen Carney (@KristenCarney) is a comedian, writer, host of the Mentally Ch(ill) and Ask Women podcasts, and someone who publicly copes with -- as many silently do -- depression.

What We Discuss with Kristen Carney:

  • Understand why someone who seems to have it all on the outside might really be dying on the inside.
  • Deal with the aftermath when someone close takes their own life -- even when part of you empathizes with their reasons.
  • Be your own champion: reach out to your family and friends who support you through the highs and lows before you're at your wit's end.
  • How the Internet has exacerbated suicidal tendencies since the '90s.
  • Why comparing our blooper reel to the highlight reel of others will always lead to our downfall.
  • And much more...

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Now that Thanksgiving is literally on the table, make sure to check out PodcastOne's cooking-specific podcasts like The Feed, Forked Up, and Starving for Attention!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:57:22 11/22/2018

David Buss (@ProfDavidBuss) is considered the world's leading scientific expert on the evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies. He is the author of several books on the subject, most recently The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.

What We Discuss with David Buss:

  • How dating apps work and what they're doing to our brains.
  • Mate-switching strategies: why affairs happen and the mechanisms at play.
  • How we can track our own mate value to keep our relationships strong and secure.
  • Why mating strategies tend to be universal even if their cultural variations seem to suggest otherwise.
  • Why a vacation with your partner is a good stress-test for seeing what might be in store for your future together.
  • And much more...

Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them ? support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies at meundies.com/jordan for 15% off and free shipping!

Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. To get started, go to RocketMortgage.com/JORDAN!

Outerknown was founded by pro surfer Kelly Slater for people who want great clothes produced by workers who are paid a living wage in an environmentally conscious way. Go to outerknown.com today and enter code JORDAN at checkout for 25% off your full price order!

Sign up for Level One of Advanced Human Dynamics -- our free networking and relationship development mini course at advancedhumandynamics.com/levelone!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:57:26 11/20/2018

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

  • Is partaking of a small amount of marijuana in the evening akin to relaxing with a glass of wine at the end of the day, or are you just lying to yourself in order to justify an unhealthy addiction? Also: is it worth the risk if it's not legal in your area?
  • How do you become essential to a fast-growing company that has so much to offer your career among a peer group with a competitive but respectful corporate spirit?
  • How do you navigate the chain of command without stepping on toes when you know your boss' boss is more competent than your boss and prefer to work with her when something needs to be done?
  • You're naturally shy and don't have much contact with your old friends these days. How do you work up the courage to go out and meet people who have the potential to be your new friends?
  • You've graduated from high school and now you're in a gap year before you go to college. You've been offered a management position at your current job, but it would further delay your college plans. Should you take the opportunity for promotion, or stick with your plan to start school next year?
  • Are you crazy for wanting to transition away from a well-paying job with great benefits toward a sustainable digital nomad lifestyle -- especially when you and your wife are planning to raise a family?
  • Is the idea of going back to college your solution for being unable to cope with the stress of your challenging job, or are you just not adjusting to being the low person on the totem pole?
  • Tank's Good News: Watch Olympic Sprinter Run onto Busy Highway so He Can save Tortoise from Traffic
  • Quick shoutouts to Nicola and American Dream University!
  • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
  • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
  • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

Full show notes and resources can be found here.

00:46:45 11/16/2018

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